Trees Undone

The lack of posts in the past month and a half, and lack of depth in the last one, may just be a clear indication that I am avoiding my feelings. Sadly, my journal is even in lack of these things are vital to my walk with the Lord. That, my friends, as been proven to me by our great, divine Creator who cares and listens, who embraces and comforts, who speaks and directs, who gently reminds me of His power and sovereignty.

I spent some time with Him today, which was much needed and so refreshing!!! A sincere and Christ-giving friend shared with me a bit of scripture that blessed her this morning. It was just what I needed to hear.

Psalm 103
1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits
3 who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

All too often, I do forget the benefits of the Lord. I forget that my sole purpose in this life is to delight in the Lord. I forget how to delight in the Lord.

That's where I've been for the past few weeks, in a cycle of disappointment with myself, forgetting to look up and not inward and around.

I just happened to grab a book off my shelf before my time with Lord, just in case I needed someone else's thoughts to help me dig deeper into my own heart. And the Lord took my attempt at "self-help" and broke through walls that I had built in my heart and in my head. Steve Douglass, the current President of Campus Crusade for Christ, gave us one of his books this summer. It's called "Enjoying your Walk with God" and I thought it would be cheesey. But God, in his perfect timing, put this book in my hands. I think Steve wrote it for me.

He refreshed me with this simple advice: remember that God is your Heavenly Father and you can talk with Him as you go.

I was sitting at park while I was revelling in the truth that was so simply laid before me. A mother and her son showed up to play on the jungle gym. I observed them briefly, but in that short time, they modeled for me the kind of relationship I long to have with my Heavenly Father. I wrote the following in my journal:

A child is climbing on a playground before me. he is moving about has he pleases, his mom is close beside him to assist him when needed. He climbs the chain-linked ladder with hesitation. His mother braced him as he continued upward. He asked questions. She answered with patience. She rejoiced and encouraged him when he reached the top. He scooted down a slide and ran back to the same ladder. He called for help again as he climbed, she was there. He took the slide down again. He ran about the playground, conversing with his mother as he played. He went back to the chain-linked ladder again, and called to his mother for her aid. She came to his side, but this time encouraged him to try it alone. He did. He made it to the top on his own. He turned back to his mom and smiled. She rejoiced with him. He asks her to watch him go down the slide. He wants to go on his stomach, face first. She warns him that he might get hurt. He hears her concern and goes on his belly, feet first. She laughed at his silly creativity and helped him land gently on the ground. His dependence on her is obvious and so is his joy. And she delights in the joy of her son.